Saturday, November 26, 2011

A Trail though the Forest...

One of the strategies that I am supposed to employ in my struggle with depression is to notice the little moments in life that make me smile. The idea, as I understand it, is for me to realize how many times each day I am basically happy. Hopefully it will be more than I assumed it would be and it may increase in frequency as I return to the things that lighten my mood.
I have always known that I do not enjoy a sense of accomplishment when a project is done, but it now seems that I get something positive from the process of getting to the end product. Don’t get me wrong, if I am building a fence on our property I DO NOT enjoy digging postholes, rather I get more from the planning and doing than from saying, “Hey look at the fence I built.”
Maybe a better analogy would be going on a hike. Like most of us, I enjoy the hike more than finishing the trail, but I carry that over into other endeavors. I like the process more than the achievement. When my friend and I plan a trip somewhere I feel the road trip is as fulfilling as the destination.

Maybe that is the point of religion maybe leading a moral life is its own reward with or without the promise of a paradise in the afterlife, maybe…

In my career I have lamented that I rarely, if ever, make a lasting difference especially for the students I serve. Instead of wanting to improve their situation perhaps I should seek my comfort in the day to day process of getting through the day keeping my students and co-workers safe.

So as I muddle through life I am more likely to enjoy this life if I look at it as a journey to be savored rather than a series of accomplishments on my way to the grave. To remind me of this my computer background at work is a forest path…