Saturday, December 1, 2012

A Personal Loss…

I don’t remember the date, but the occasion that gathered the family was the celebration of the boy’s girlfriend’s birthdays (both the first week October). We were gathered at my home for Barbeque and togetherness and even though I do not remember the date I do remember the exact moment that some magic left my world. I was walking on the deck towards the stairs that lead to the yard and the barbeque pits beyond, when movement caught my eye.

As the setting sun’s angled rays cast small shadows east of everything in the yard, I saw a small white flower move. It bent down to one side for a second and then stood up straight again and the flower next to it then bent over ever so slightly, and then the next and so on. My absolute first thought was that if I were in the company of a young child, especially a girl (maybe a granddaughter- someday) I could describe the small fairy that is moving through the yard, her ephemeral gown spun from spider silk, her silvery wings moving too fast to be seen clearly, and perhaps she hums softly to herself as she makes her way through the yard.

As I pondered this wee fey moving across my property, a small, dark, and malignant corner of my mind whispered, “Hobby, it’s just a bee going flower to flower too far away to see anything but the flowers moving.”

In that instance some of the magic left my world, the rationalization of what was happening stole some of the enchantment that has colored all of my life.