It has been a month since I have allowed myself time to sit and write. As is true for every one life has not stood still in that amount of time. So allow me to catch you up to where I am at this point of Muddling through Life.
On December, 10th our beautiful Great Dane, Jetta, was laid to rest. On December, 23rd my sore knee was re-diagnosed from a possible ligament or tendon tear to a broken femur and I was ordered into a brace and to non- weight bearing for 4 weeks. This situation has given me the much needed chance to take a break from working 72 hours a week between the 2 jobs. On December, 29th I began counseling therapy and medication for depression or dysthymia. And amid all this chaos I am continuing my endeavors to reconnect to those people from throughout the years that have been a positive influence on me.
While floundering through existence I find myself still looking for a purpose or meaning to life. I know I have written about the possibility that there is not a purpose to it all and some of us merely exist to support others. And yet I find myself still searching.
Is it possible that life has meaning simply because it exists…I am therefore I matter?
How can we take an ordinary life and make it useful if not for us then for others…a life of service. I recently heard the statement, “A life of service, there is no higher calling.” Do I believe this? I don’t know, but my believing does not make it true or false. I’m beginning to flounder again.
What has meaning in your life? Is it career or family? Could it be our interpersonal interactions? The smile you show to a stranger you pass in the hall? If I have a meaning or purpose in life it would have to be in those interactions with others, my family, my co-workers, and those I call friends.
It is where I feel the happiest and where I feel I matter.
Now how do I take that and make a life of it?